“When you argue with reality, you lose—but only 100% of the time.” – Byron Katie
Do you spend time wanting things to be different? Thinking things “should” be a certain way or “should” have been different?
Arguing with reality only causes suffering. It’s like saying things shouldn’t be the way they are. Maybe, but who’s to say that’s true? Furthermore, what good does it do? Sure, we would like for things to be different sometimes but things are what they are.
Besides, it was meant to happen exactly the way it happened. If it was supposed to be different, it would have been different. And if you argue with that, you will lose. Every time.
I was talking with a client the other day and I noticed that she kept using the word “should.” I should have done this. They should have done that. They should not have to experience that. These thoughts were making her suffer big time. She was arguing with reality. I helped her see how her obsessive thoughts about what happened (in the past) were creating so much pain for her in the present. She immediately felt lighter. It will be ongoing work for her because she’s held on to those thoughts for so long, but she will be able to move forward.
Focusing on the past keeps us stuck in the past. Furthermore, it takes up space in our brain that keeps us from creating right now. Trying to create a life from the past gives you what you’ve already gotten. Appreciate the past — it’s made you who you are. But leave it where it is. In order to create the life we want, we have to live life in the present while focusing on the future.
Are you stuck in the past? Are you having trouble letting go? Imagine what it would feel like, what your life would be like, if you could let go of that stuff. Free yourself. Click here.
Gabrielle, The Thought Trainer