I spent years looking for my purpose, being frustrated about not knowing what I was passionate about, and sometimes feeling like I wasn’t passionate about anything at all. At the same time, I knew there had to be more to life than what I was experiencing, something else that I was put here to do to make a difference in the world.
I would call my mom crying about it and she would always say “Beth, just stop looking so hard for it and just live your life.” (SN: My mom wanted to name me Elizabeth, but my daddy was like Nope, so she calls me Beth.)
Anyway, I would get so mad at her. It just seemed like she didn’t understand at all and not only could she not relate, but she wasn’t even TRYING to relate to what I was going through. As far back as I can remember, she has always done what she loves and has gotten fulfillment from making a direct impact in people’s lives. That’s what I desperately wanted.
Then one day, it hit me. I had to live my life. I had been living it, but I had been living it for other people. And not based on anything specific that those “other people” said or did, but because of what I THOUGHT was expected of me. (Yall know our brains will have us jacked up, right?) I realized that I had to live my life for me. That’s what my mom had been saying all along.
BUT…that meant I would have to drop who I had worked so hard to become up to that point. I would have to give up the person who everybody knew me to be, the person who was my comfort zone. I would have to give all of that up in order to become who I was meant to be. That was scary.
It’s like if you strip away all of the THINGS: the degree, the job, the title, the status, the money, THE STUFF, who are you? That’s a scary feeling. You feel naked and exposed. But underneath all of that is who you truly are. It’s who I truly am. So yes I’m out here all naked and afraid, but the thought of continuing to play it safe and not using the gifts and vision that God gave me was even more scary. (Yall do know that that desire, that dream, that vision that keeps tugging at you is not just something that you thought up for yourself, right? K. Just making sure. Cause ya girl out here tryna get a “Well done, good and faithful servant.” You feel me?)
Give yourself permission to be yourself. Be naked. Be afraid. But be authentically you.
Everybody won’t understand it. And they’re not meant to. But I do. And I can help you through it. Sign up for a free mini-session and let’s do this!
Gabrielle, The Thought Trainer