#2 Reason You Are Unfulfilled

The #2 reason you are unfulfilled is because you’re unconsciously settling.

When you ask yourself what it is that you truly want to do with your life, your brain does one of two things.

It responds with “I don’t know”. It does this because our brains don’t like to work hard so instead of really working to find the answer, it tells you that you don’t know. And you settle for that.


It gives you reasons why you shouldn’t change what you’re already doing with your life. Our brains’ job is to keep us safe and we feel like we’re safe doing what we’ve always done. It gives you all the things that will go wrong if you change anything (you will fail, it won’t work, you can’t afford to, I will be lonely, starting over is hard, etc.). And you settle for that.

You don’t realize any of this because it’s just your brain doing what it has always done. You are making a choice to settle. Unconsciously making the choice, but still making the choice. It’s a blind spot that you didn’t know you had. But it’s cool. You’re just being human.

But now that you know, how do you not settle?

I’m glad you asked. You stop settling by consciously making a choice.

For example, when your brain wants to tell you that you don’t know, don’t accept that as an answer. Force your brain to give you a real answer. A good comeback question to “I don’t know” is “If you did know, what would you say?” That’s a brain hack. And it works. Try it.

When your brain gives you all the things that can go wrong, welcome it and definitely consider it. That’s what you’ve always done. But now also put that same energy into identifying everything that can go right. And consider putting your focus there. You’ve tried the other way and it hasn’t gotten you to where you want to be, right?

What do you have to lose?

Gabrielle, The Thought Trainer


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